A couple of years ago, my little sister, who claims she is 25 at each birthday, (who is actually 28-sorry sis!) decided that before she hit 30, there were certain things she needed to do. For her, becoming a lady was eating olives, drinking coffee and drinking red wine. I agree with these milestones, I’m currently drinking a glass of red wine and I eat more olives than bread, coffee will forever be a mystery to me though so I’ve still got a way to grow up. But it made me think about what actually makes us a #modernwoman. So with a little help from the amazing women in my life, here’s a tick list below:
1. Your Facebook feed is full of babies
Everyone around you is starting to become baby machines, for those that haven’t gone down that path, they normally fill their feed with dogs. Either way, there’s definitely a tipping point when your newsfeed isn’t just photos from drunken nights out.
2. You tidy your house without being told to by your Mum
You no longer resent tidying, you do it because you want to proud of where you live. A sense of pride kicks in that you only get as a #modernwoman. In fact, it goes beyond home, you actually spend time tidying cupboards and drawers just because you like the sense of order. (Yes, I have actually just cleared out my 'baking drawer' and I loved every minute!)
3. You buy yourself flowers
Why should it be some guy’s responsibility to buy you flowers, when you’re a #modernwoman you buy things for yourself rather than wait for someone else to buy them.
4. You wear what you want
You don’t bother asking your friends anymore ‘what are you wearing?’ you are happy to turn up at whatever event and are confident enough that you will have made the right choice, not necessarily for the occasion but what makes you feel good. A #modernwoman might not always feel confident in what she’s wearing but she does a damn good job of fooling everyone else.
5. Your summers are dedicated to other people’s weddings
Hen dos, weddings, outfit shopping, present shopping - you know when you’ve reached that age where you struggle fitting in a holiday around all your wedding commitments and you start to wonder if you can get away with wearing the same dress to all 5 weddings if you mix up accessories enough..... Another reason to resent social media.
6. You look after your own health
In my twenties, I had a lot of fun but I had no interest or time for exercise. Now I have fun exercising and therefore I make the time for it. You actually begin to enjoy eating salads and you know that you can eat whatever you want, in balance. You realise that your health is important and you take a bit more looking after than you used to, everyone warns you in your twenties but noone ever listens! You recognise that time is not an excuse, it’s just an obstacle.
7. You don’t go into your overdraft every month
Money management is soooo boring. But when you are a #modernwoman, you can manage your accounts, in fact you have bank accounts for different things and you have actually thought about financially planning for the future. I won’t go as far to say that you’ll have a pension but you’ll know what you can cut out and what you like to splurge on.
8. You re-apply lipstick when out
I have yet to master this one, I’m pretty pleased with myself when I remember to apply it before I leave the house, but the amount of times I re-apply throughout the day - zero. Faded lipstick looks awful but when I’m not staring at myself in a mirror all day, how am I supposed to remember?! Maybe the #modernwoman just shouldn’t wear lipstick?!
9. You think about spending time with family
When you’re young, you spend a lot of your time getting away from family, when you grow up, you realise that these are people that you not only should spend time with, you want to spend time with. You start to see the positives in your annoying siblings, you start to see yourself in your parents and you understand the preciousness of time with grandparents. Not only this, as you grow up, you start to think about wanting your own family, whatever form that maybe.
10. You can keep an orchid* alive
Remembering that other things and people rely on you more than you think they should. Every kid has a cactus, one of the most hardy plants on the planet, most will still manage to kill it but the test of adulthood is definitely the orchid.
*this can be substituted with any type of herb or flower or even a pet - a goldfish doesn’t count. In fact, cooking with own grown herbs makes you an #ultramodernwoman
11. You can walk in heels but you choose not to
I grew up in the 80s and for me, wearing stilettoes was the sign of absolute female dominance, that was going to make me a #modernwoman. I practiced and practiced and now can very proudly walk in high heels without fear of falling over (for about 4 hours anyway, then my feet begin to hurt). However now I’m nearly grown up, it’s not the 80s anymore and the mass of #modernwomen are now actually carrying the high heels in the bag and wearing trainers on the commute. Thank god for that.
12. You are happy to order a pint in a pub rather than a glass of wine
Not all of us women like wine, weird sounding I know to some people but it’s true. Being happy to order the drink you want rather than what society expects of you is another sign of being a #modernwoman.
13. You start having to be one of those people with a life plan
Even if you’d never had a plan before, you get to that stage of being a #modernwoman where people start asking you your 5 or 10 year plan, relationships, children, mortgages and you realise that your free and easy approach to life in your 20s has not necessarily been conducive to having a stable future.
14. You own more than one pair of matching underwear
You bought them for yourself rather than for the eyes of someone else because, you know, they were there, together, and why wouldn’t you buy matching underwear, you’ll only regret it in the future, best to buy both types of pants and bra now, just in case.
(I’m still not sure what this ‘just in case’ is but the fear of it means that if there is a matching set, I will get it)
15. You host dinner parties rather than house parties
I always intend to host a dinner party, I love cooking and I love hosting, should be perfect right? But my parties inevitably end up being a house party, with a good old living room disco thrown in at about 3am. What we have perfected however is the art of starting off with an afternoon buffet/bbq (everyone loves variety) and then on into the night.
I’ll know I’ve made it as a #modernwoman when I can get my guests to sit round a table with napkins.